• Rachel Loechelt

Dealing with a narcissist stuck on their high horse.

Those who are comfortable in their own skin, confident in their beliefs and abilities, and are accepting of who they are do not feel the need to belittle, lecture, or stand high on a moral pedestal and condescendingly preach to those they feel superior to.

Those who behave in such a way actually feel insecure, unseen, unheard, under appreciated, and so desperate for admiration, they must shake their audience into believing what they think (or want you to think) to be true about themselves. This is, of course, how grand and superior they are to anyone else.

Although some may argue a person like this is a passionate activist, exudes confidence, or is a “says it like it is” type person, the manner and execution of their beliefs and moral preaching says more about this person than what they are saying. It’s all about the delivery. Unwanted or unsolicited advice, lecturing, therapy, preaching and educating often leaves a bad taste in everyone’s mouth.

In order to understand this person in an attempt to heal your relationship with them, you must try to understand why they behave in such a narcissistic manner. More often than not, this person has a deep rooted insecurity that they are trying so desperately to convince everyone does not exist. Although they want so desperately to be seen, they try to hide the fact that they are flawed, imperfect, or insecure. In doing so, this person tends to be rather vocal, self indulged, and shares only their best and most admirable qualities. Some of which, may be fabricated or untruthful. They will do whatever it takes to look the part of the character they are portraying.

It’s important to understand that you do not have to maintain a relationship with this person. You are free to eliminate toxic people from your life whenever and however you choose. It’s your life, you decide who stays involved. If you wish to heal and repair a relationship with a self-righteous person, your mental health could be at stake. Unless you can, “uh-huh, yeah, sure, whatever you say” this person, I applaud you. Not allowing their superiority complex to overcome and exhaust you is key to dealing with and deflecting from their off-putting behaviors. These types people are egotistically inflated by attention, good or bad. Any reaction and attention is the fuel that feeds their ego. Some people love getting a rise out of others, just to feel they’re powerful enough to drain someone’s energy… ”emotional vampires”, if you will.

Someone who thinks they can do no wrong has an awful hard time receiving criticism, especially if it unveils a part of them that they so desperately wish to hide. It’s best to deflate their ego by not inflating it for them. Remember that they get a high when they preach their abilities and accomplishments to others. Rather than help them on to their high horse, take what they say with a grain of salt. Do not insult this person, but respectfully disagree or minimize the praise they desire. That, or let them ride their high horse right out of town. Yee-haw!

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